WhatsTheBuzzAbout.com

How Do You Balance Virtual and In Person Commitments?

Do you believe that most of your virtual connections do not expect to meet you personally? Do you believe that you can transact business without meeting personally or believe that you would lose business if you don’t meet personally? Do you feel obligated when a virtual connection extends you an invitation to meet?

You are not alone in the push-pull saga of to meet or not to meet.  As more of us have hundreds or thousands of connections, the requests of our time increase.  We are asked to chat online with people to get to know them even though we may have no immediate business need and no immediate value to offer. We accommodate those requests knowing that telephone conversations take longer than email and cannot be accomplished at our discretion in off business hours possibly.

However, that is not enough. Our connections want to connect with us in very personal ways and share our calendars, our trip plans, and what we are currently doing. Do they have a need to know, let alone a right to know?  Do we want to know that someone we are connected with for future business possibilities is going to take the cat to the veterinarian?  And then, the final desire, our connections want to meet us. Perhaps we are located in Paris and they are traveling there. Perhaps they are hosting an event and want us to attend. They may try to intimidate us, impress us with their “power” or try to get us to feel guilty. Make such tactics a waste of time on their part. You do not need to play any game with true connections who are those who will have your best interests at heart as you will theirs.

Our time is precious. We can never regain it as the minutes tick by.  As we plan our time, we should think about what gives us the most pleasure and benefit. We are the masters of our time, our talents, and our treasure. Our connections need to be given due respect, and we need to reflect professionalism in our dealings with them. However, they do not need to be given information that we determine they do not have to know, nor do we have to agree to meet off network simply to be courteous.

Our word is precious. When you make a commitment to email something, speak on the telephone, or meet in person, honor that commitment.  If something out of your control interferes with meeting that commitment, communicate quickly.  Just make sure that your decision is one you make because it is the right decision for you.

What is your buzz about?

How Do You Handle Pressure from Online Connections?

Perhaps you are one of those individuals who accepts online connections without assuming that they will demand or ask something of you that is outside your level of comfort (your comfort zone).  When you accept connections from individuals, you should assume that they may ask you to donate to a cause, join them on some group, join their “fan” club, write a recommendation, mark them as “good” in some networks, participate in some issue or poll, comment on their blog, introduce them, loan them money, buy their products or services, or support them in an online discussion, etc.  Any of these examples could be uncomfortable to you.

Many individuals also assume that there is a degree of familiarity with someone who accepts a connection that may not need to be cultivated.  Just as offline relationships develop over time, so should online relationships be permitted the same period of time. Accepting a connection simply means that you agree to begin to develop a new relationship or further develop the relationship you have. It should not be construed that accepting a connection implies that you have agreed to take on a “best friend” online function.  It does not mean that an existing relationship has taken on a deeper commitment than currently exists.

A few examples might help you formulate your thinking about your responsibilities to your online connections.

Case Study One

You conduct executive searches and are connected to some candidates either at your request or theirs. What do you do when they ask you to write recommendations on their profiles or to future employers?

Reaction – Just because you feel comfortable presenting their candidacy, which normally includes both positive and negative information, the relationship does not call for writing a permanent recommendation on a profile or writing a recommendation to a prospective employer, particularly if the employer is not a client.

Case Study Two

You have a management position and individuals with whom you are connected through a strategic alliance, vendor, former employee, or other relationship ask you to donate to their cause, etc. Perhaps they are involved in a marathon, holding a fund raiser, have a matching donation program with their employers or their children are selling something for a school trip. 

Reaction – An online relationship does not mean that you should accept the requests to donate or support every worthwhile cause, even if you agree with the cause.

Case Study Three

Individuals with whom you are connected decide that they need to establish a “fan” club in their name. Perhaps they even form a group with their name in title. They extend an invitation to become a fan or a member of “their” personal group.

Reaction – Again, an online relationship does not mean that you have to be anyone’s “fan.” Only you can determine if being a “fan” is helpful or important to you professionally or personally.

How you handle requests from your online connections reflects your values, judgment, and personal and business decision matrices.  Do not shirk from the awkward by not responding to each personal request.  Always respond, no matter how difficult it is to do so. It is a test of character and respect for others. Be judicious and courteous if you decide to decline a request. As in most situations, handling things immediately is always preferable than procrastinating. Be authentic and kind and you will be well-received.

What is your buzz about?

Does Your Association Enhance Your Reputation?

You may have been making choices about participating on certain social networks or in certain groups or forums based on any number of factors. Perhaps you have joined because colleagues or friends suggested the venue, or perhaps you joined because you wanted to learn about a new topic or location, or perhaps you joined because you thought it might help you on a project, expand your network, or a facilitate research.  However, when you made the decision to join and participate, did you consider whether it enhances or will enhance your reputation?

There have been a significant number of instances when choices potentially cause people difficulties in the long term. For example, we see the multiple warnings to college students to manage their profiles and participation with an eye to what employers might think and to potential college students with an eye to what college recruiters might think. The current trend seems to be for site managers to allow people the choice to keep some things private to only a select group, and other things available to a wider viewership.  However, even with such purported safeguards, there is no protection against that select group maintaining that confidentiality long-term. We have been afforded a false-sense of security.

On certain discussion sites, we can find commentary over several years about the perceived value or lack of value of certain groups. We can find those who claim that membership in a group which promotes open networking equates to becoming associated with spamming. We find claims that joining sales or marketing groups also means that those who join support spamming. Individuals have actually been warned not to join certain groups because their reputations could be damaged.

Joining a specific religious or political group may be perceived by some as overt intolerance of other religions or political points of view.  Joining a platform which promotes a particular country could be perceived as anti- that country’s opponents.  Joining a group of colleagues in your same line of business could be perceived as wanting to share leads  In these few examples, we can see how perceptions can be swayed even though the rationale for those perceptions could be totally wrong.

Just as in the non-electronic world of communication, associations are important. The difference seems to be in the ability to electronically access and have knowledge of associations on a long-term basis. In the electronic world, the historical record is easier and quicker to trace. The audit trail of participation is more reliable than someone’s memory, and the accuracy of the information can be more detailed than a resume presents or someone remembers.  

Again, we have the same issue and opportunity – choice. Make your choices with purpose and care. Do not decide solely on what others have to say about your choice. It is your life, your decision, your goals, and your freedom to decide. Enjoy it and enjoy the electronic options. Just depend on you and do not rely on promises of privacy. Things change, things are inadvertently released, and sometimes people whom you thought you could trust may let you down and disclose information, video, etc. that you did not want released. 

You have to live with your choices.  You are in charge and you only have one life to love, learn, and experiment.  Go with your heart!

What is your buzz about?